Sorry PR People

About a year ago I got the first odd e-mail - that is, the first that caught my attention on this particular topic. It was a thinly disguised press release offered by a PR company to hype me on the idea of interviewing their client.

I wrote back and asked why they had sent this information to me. I was told that because I was an "influential blogger" they thought I might like to know about their client.

Frankly, I found the concept of creating publicity through other people's blogs to be a much more interesting story, but alas, the PR person refused to waste any more time conversing with me about the specifics of his job.


It seemed somebody had thrown a switch.

Within days I was getting regular solicitations, and within a few weeks they made up half of the mail in my "in" box.

I don't mind people submitting story ideas, or opportunities to interview, but I wish they had even a small understanding of the topics I write about.

In the last 48 hours I've received:

1. a press release about a search engine optimization book from an expert I've never heard of,

2. a notification that a well-known millionaire would be the keynote speaker at a blogging convention in Las Vegas,

3. the announcement of a new Internet radio network,

4. an invitation to an after-hours party in Nashville from a company I've never heard of. (The invitation gives me no idea of what this company does),

5. a press release that a well known corporate executive has joined the board of a little known charity,

6. a "preview" of the big announcement that a start-up company would now offer cell phone advertising,

7. an announcement that a company I've never heard of has just purchased another company I've never heard of. It took 9 paragraphs to explain what either company did. I still don't know why I should care,

8. a press release about an upcoming conference which would explore the upside of blogging for business,

9. a self-serving piece that a large retail chain used to brag that a not-for-profit agency I've never heard of has presented the retailer with an award I've never heard of,

10. a well written story about the steps that pharmacists in Southern California were taking to help people displaced by the fires to get their prescriptions.

11. a nice "thank you" from the Southern California marketing group that I spoke before last week. (Thank you, Mary. I had a good time, too).

12. an e-mail from RosemaryT informing me that my website could use more traffic, and that she will create a free site report for me if I click on the link...

OK. That last one didn't belong on the list.

It was pure spam. But, except for number 11 so were all of the rest. (Although I thought the news in number 10 was genuine news, I'm the wrong person to report it).

Its flattering to be an "influential blogger," and to have people think your opinion matters. That flattery quickly appears insincere when the blogger finds out you've never read his blog.

Insincerity = hype = Overall negative impression of the sender.

People who don't know any better will try the "stuff against the wall" theory of mass communications. PR professionals should know better.

When you're sending the exact same release to hundreds of "influential bloggers," you have just admitted to everyone that your content is not news. Its already been widely disseminated. Any blogger who writes about your release is ALREADY behind the times.

It may be important to YOU that I learn all about your company's after hours party, but I can assure you, unless you can explain why I should care, I probably won't. People looking for marketing information won't either.

I write specifically about advertising, and in the somewhat larger context, marketing. I have a couple of hundred posts on these topics available to anyone who Googles my name. Why are you sending me "news" that your software firm has upgraded KeepMeBusy 3.5 to the new robust KeepMeBusy 3.5.1? I don't care. The people who read my posts for marketing information don't care.

You are, by definition, a spammer.


How Chris dealt with spammers.

So appreciate with me the step just taken by Chris Anderson, editor of Wired and author of The Long Tail. Chris has banned pointless press releases from his in box.

A few keystrokes, and poof! They're consigned to computer hell.

Ain't technology grand?

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Why "Professional" Ads Will Drain Your Budget Dry

People with limited advertising experience are naturally eager to appear to be professional. Unfortunately, they base their image of professionalism on how well their ads conform to the sameness of all of the other ads.

Advertising professionals will tell you that the message comes first. The presentation always comes second. Its sole purpose should be to reinforce the message. The choice of medium should come later, too - perhaps even last.

Good ads resonate in the minds and hearts of the buyers. Bad ads puff up the ego of the sellers. You will recognize a bad ad by the unmistakable sucking sound as dollars are flushed over and over every day.


Here's an interesting tool to guarantee bad advertising.

This is a parody of a useful tool. Use it. If you find ANY of these phrases in your advertising copy, fire your copywriter. If you're the copywriter, hire someone who can say something your potential customers want to hear.

My only regret is that its focus is on-line copy. There's a massive amount of bad off-line copy, too.

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Could I Offer You a Free $100 Bill?

In Shel Silverstein's 1970 song I Got Stoned And I Missed It, he tells of "a nut down on the corner givin' dollar bills away."

Being otherwise preoccupied, Silverstein wasn't able to take advantage of the opportunity.

But untold numbers of websurfers essentially did the same thing when Mike Enlow tried to give away $100 bills on a web site he created for that purpose. (We can speculate that not all of them were operating their computers in an impaired state).

Mike tells the story in Internet Marketing Expert Can't Give Away $100 Bills. Despite being an unapologetic sales page, the story has great insight into the need for credibility in everything Internet.

Paul Hancox picks up the story and adds to the need to establish yourself in his post, How To Give Away Hundred Dollar Bills.


What's their general conclusion?

Enlow expressed it well when he said about shoppers on the web, "They Don't Believe One Darned Word You Say! Literally. They're sick of being lied to. Sick of being misled. Tired of outrageous offers, unsolicited email spam, products that don't work as advertised, and people who hide behind fake names and fake email addresses.

"And Here's The Problem: Even if you are selling the greatest, most effective, amazing product or service in the history of the world (even free $100 bills), I GUARANTEE you that whatever you are doing to establish your credibility right now isn't enough."

Does your website make it easy for people to snail mail you? Place a phone call? Do you show your name? Your photograph?


The more of these things you make easily accessible, the more trustworthy you appear.

Hancox adds, "The funny thing is, in so many aspects of our lives, we’re all trying to give away hundred dollar bills. Maybe not that specific dollar amount, but we may be trying to give away something we think is of value."

He goes on to say "One of the simplest and yet most effective things you can do in life to improve your marketing and, quite frankly, just about everything you do to persuade and influence others, is to look at it from the other person’s perspective."

And this, my friends, is the secret to all great advertising as well.

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An Interactive Budgeting Tool

In Disc Jockeys and Business Budgeting I referred you to an excellent article on the "how to's" of preparing a marketing budget.

If the math is deterring you, may I recommend this Ad Budget Calculator, built by Wizard of Ads ^® Partner, Dave Young.

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Disc Jockeys and Business Budgeting

Years ago, while I was working in radio, a young man came up to me at a public event and asked what he had to do to become a disc jockey. I told him to get a bachelors degree – not in communications, but rather in business. Take all of the history and political science classes available. Volunteer with some local service groups, and join Toastmasters, or some similar organization.

He asked, “Is that what you did?”

I said, “No, but then I didn't ask anyone for advice on how to become a disc jockey.”

I did it differently. Much differently. I had other resources and additional knowledge, and was applying for a specific job with a specific radio station. All of those factors should have influenced my get the job strategy. That I did it differently didn't invalidate the good advice I gave the young man.

I remembered that conversation earlier today when I was asked, “How much should I spend on advertising?”

I will gladly explain the calculations. In the process you'll get solid advice that will be effective ninety-five percent of the time.


The other five percent?

In that case you'll budget an ineffective amount, because your competitor has other resources and additional knowledge. The services of a marketing consultant, for example, that will apply his knowledge for a specific result with a specific company in a specific market.

You see, the generic advice any consultant would give in order to be useful at all would have to use averages and percentages. But it makes no sense for retailers to have the same guidelines as service companies, for professionals with different goals and different competitive situations and trends to spend the same percentages on marketing.

One size can't possibly fit all - at least, not an excellent fit. And yet, for ninety-five percent of the businesses who ask this question, the averages will do just fine. And I'm a major supporter of the do-it-yourself ethic.

With that in mind, my partner, Roy H. Williams has already given an excellent step-by-step in his Entrepreneur article, Calculating Your Ad Budget. I doubt that I could explain it any better.


But I will add a few variables to the basic calculations.

Roy's explanation works excellently for relational businesses. Many transactional businesses are highly seasonal, and should take seasonality into account. (And don't make the budget curve match the sales curve, have it lead the curve by the length of time a typical customer is in a buying cycle).

New businesses usually need more exposure to achieve the same awareness level in the marketplace that established businesses do. They'll need to spend more.

If your business has been losing share, you'll need substantially more to turn the sales curve around.

Any average projection assumes average growth. If you wish greater growth, you'll need to budget more.

Sometimes you just don't have the cash your new budget will require. A good rule of thumb is to allocate the first half of the budget to be expended before you see any incremental growth. If you can't sustain these spending levels, you'll have to scale back your growth plans.

And finally, if you're reluctant to “spend” any large numbers of dollars building your business through marketing, don't implement the plan. Not spending enough is like buying a ticket three-quarters of the way to London. If you're not going to follow through, you're better off not wasting any dollars and still not reaching your goal.

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